June 05, 2010

Kuala Lumpur...

It's been a long day that started at 630 with girl crying for me on the streets of Chaweng. That's a fucking lot to handle and I can't say I've ever handled the understanding of it well. The moment just came, and there was nothing we could really say about it...today, last night, the week approaching. At some point, feelings happened we could never talk through because of the barriers between us. The way we did speak had to be all too simple...for me, for once...through glances or touches or a thousand other things I can't really explain to someone until they've been in something like it. I thought about her all day after I left, about the things in life I'm capable of giving and the things I'm not...why the weight of the latter is so heavy and at what point things became that way.

Tonight, I went out wandering, looking for something like a super market then a place for dinner. First point of order was to prepare a double fist of Gatorade for tomorrow morning's run - my word, the heat here is supposed to beat Thailand - and fought hard for a while trying to place myself. Big town. Fast town. Crazy town. It's a lot less Asian and a lot more Indian than I expected. People are praying everywhere, all the time. The supermarket never really happened. Dinner happened at a street restaurant at the end of an alley in Little India - rice with a side of chicken stew, side of chickpea stew, Coke. Very cheap. I tipped the guy and felt like I made him worry he was ripping me off. So I can't do that again. Every now and again, I catch someone looking at me who is either fascinated or wants to see my head on a stick. If anyone asks, I'll tell them that I'm a Canadian and that yes, I love their God and pray to it 5 times a day...

No, no. It's not really like that. Everyone on this side of the world has given me nothing but warmth so far. That's the truth. Tomorrow, I'll see what this place is like during the day, continue to enjoy my hot shower, sandless bed for a couple nights.

There's a building sitting behind me called the Petronas Towers - tallest in the world. The cabbie who took me from the bus station made me make him a promise that I would go to the top - free tickets. I told him I was incredibly afraid of heights and he made me promise again, which I did. I said, alright dude...but it's gonna fuck with me something terrible and I might make a scene in front of a lot of people. Then he said deal, and smiled, and I guess that settled things.