Durban just sent me his last post on the third city we shared pages. I wrote the last leg and we brought it in at a little under 10,000 words and I think we both feel pretty good about it. He's living in London for the next month, said in the message that he's spending his time, "laying low and keeping it real." We're moving in a good direction and both seem to be having this problem where we have such an abundance to say and sometimes, I feel like these chapters are a bit sprawling but in the best of ways. I think the most difficult part of writing a book is all you have to store and keep internal. And on top of that, the build is ceaseless. Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of words...and every one selected with care.
Everything else I've written has always been at least something of a smash and grab...and whether it's shit or great, that mattered but never really mattered to me. All that mattered, ever, was the feeling of getting it out and off. Sure, we all want to find fame and fortune in the artistic work we do, but hopefully, that's not why we do it. The reason you'll often find me here is that it's instant gratification. If I didn't have it, this forum, I'd gnaw through my arm.
I told you earlier what this book is all about...me and Durban jerking ourselves and each other off for 200 some pages. That's it, so when he sent me the last stretch, the passage that's about to follow came highlighted. If you ever want to learn something about yourself or if you're the type of person that's into self exploration/worship, find a friend with whom you've shared privileged time and then write a book about that time. You'll have no choice but to dish on each other and yourselves. The following is what he just gave me. I thought of it as something eye opening...still rough draft, mind you. I think he'd be upset if I didn't mention that...such a rook writer, Durban...
"Burn isn't much of a conversationalist. Sometimes, when we're going into social situations, I see this look on his face where I know he's prepping himself to deal with people, as if he has to change his persona to handle the masses he'll never otherwise be able to relate to. Sometimes, he strikes me as having a very schizophrenic personality and I've told him on several occasions it's something he should get checked out. Of course, my advice never moves him. Don't ever get Burn started on industries of psychological therapy and behavioral meds. For an often apathetic and drifting motherfucker, he turns into exactly that, a mother fucker...spitting, rabid and vile. Actually, the contradiction is quite remarkable. You need to know that when he gets uncomfortable, he goes internal...and his mouth shuts like a rusted bear trap, which, in turn, means the weight of being holed up and hiding out in a tin shanty with a ferocious and suspicious and protective mother of two becomes entirely my burden to carry. You need to know that."
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I've been all over YouTube today stalking Lady Gaga. This was what I came across, exactly what I was looking for -- footage from last night's LA show because YouTube today is sensational like that...
She played at the Wiltern and I never thought much about making the trip since it's not exactly my style. Don't get me wrong, I think her music is phenominal -- some of the best hooks and drops I've ever heard...and I've been playing her songs in my classes and in my headphones for a long while now. She works and then some, but I always...and ignorantly thought of her as a manufactured pop princess and never really wanted to get real deep with her because nothing about that ever moves me. I always knew she was young...22, and owned vicious and beautiful self confidence and I dug on that because I always dig on that. Then, I started reading...and everything about her read like the life of a musical prodigy -- and she was hanging her influences on Bowie and Mercury and I was watching clips from last night's show like the one above...and then I watched what's now about to follow for you and I realized I'm forever sold. Remember here what we do with genius? Yeah...
