How bout some of the best of Madison Reese - some scared and brilliantly interesting girl's alter-ego. She says she can't behave like this in the real world, that it only comes through e-mails sent to me. Fucking shame. But anyway, here...we hold up the Reeses...
I do hate people like you that can just be done with someone after a hang up----I will never know why yall do that—PERSONAL STORY ALERT—less than a year ago I stole my best friends boyfriend—yes I am the dirty mistress--im too addicted to the people I once loved to ever give up on them---because I choose to remember the good times and block out the bad---probably why I get stepped on and hurt by the same people over and over---im always gripping into darkness for control and coming up empty handed followed by I dive into cookie cake or vodka and cigarettes---either/or its disgusting and very Bridget Jones-esque---sexy?? I always just want what I cant have---it’s the inner 5 yo in me –but I also wont settle for less (hopefully?) than some great love story---because I am that asshole that believes The Notebook, Tristan and Isolde, and now Twilight are real---oh the shame in admitting that! A boy once told me “life is a lot less romantic than you think and the longer you believe that it is the longer you will be alone.”
I'm going to call you out---its what I do...why do you say your ex is so crazy?? what makes her so crazy?? did she throw shit? manipulate you??? key your car?? Did she live passionately?? did she lie and cheat and steal??? do you love her just because she is still beautiful or do you love her because she was always changing always challenging?? making you think you were never quite good enough....but then just when you thought it wasn't possible she would whisper sweet nothings in post coital bliss and you would think "i cant believe she mine I cant believe she picked me----no one has ever loved this openly and honestly and freely"
Don’t you get it? I am jealous of you! Jealous that you put yourself out there and you fight for what you want and you don’t take no for an answer. I call you cocky-you are- but I think the better word is confident. True confidence-you back it up with hard work and precision you take the steps to succeed but you somehow don’t seem desperate-what’s your secret?? I guess you are a breath of fresh air-I know I come off as a fan or a love sick school girl or some sort of admirer but someone should tell you---really tell you- without wanting anything in return that you have the makings of someone great---an don’t the great ones die young anyway? I didn’t mean to tear down something so rare- honest uncensored thought- I just wanted a reaction- some attention from you and I didn’t know another way----guess my “master plan” worked? Because even if you do make me angry at least you make me something! Its almost tomorrow and you will be over this girl “Madison” because deep down I know you wonder who I am- who I could be. Maybe im your fairy godmother sent to you to help you along in your success to test you the way no one else does.
She thinks she would disappoint me if I ever met her...maybe because I project poison on here sometimes...maybe because that's my shadow. When she says that, I'm ashamed of it. Somewhat. And at the same time, I am poison, absolutely. Saying anything but that would be deceit.
She sent me a picture of herself late last night. To me, it's fascinating...this dance that's so unnecessary but that I'll probably turn into a television show someday. Regardless of how one chooses to look at this situation, Reese has absolutely become a part of my life. And like Bob Greene wrote in the Sun Times or Tribune after he answered my mother's plea to get her children tickets to The Bozo Show in Chicago -- this wont happen a second time. At some point in my life, I decided the noble thing to chase would be no mask - to throw it all out there and sink or swim, give the best and worst of myself and lose any attachment to the consequence. Reese ain't quite there. That's fine. Maybe it's better that way - she knows me enough to know this wont be some movie romance. She knows. Regardless of anything and everything else, I think this is beautiful...a picture of my crazy bitch penpal. The second she tells me to take it down, I will. Until then, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to the wonderful, the beautiful (no matter what kind of self depricating shit she'll throw back at me), the motherfucking crazed Madison Reese...
