Last night, I had a dream I was in a Cameron Crowe movie. It was this huge ensemble and the scene we were shooting was in the middle of this tent - set up for some sort of religious gathering. And there were about 8 of us on stage, and thousands of extras and I was sitting next to Orlando Bloom and Cameron Crowe comes up to us and tells us to go off book - like off script, just to go. We start rolling and Orlando starts speaking in tongues, just kind of humming and blowing his lips and then he stops and I guess at that point I was supposed to go so I did and it wasn't really working. By the third take, all I was thinking to myself was, really, this is all he's gonna give me? That and that I was going to get fired. Fucking Orlando Bloom.
I woke up this morning, feeling like I do when I dream of my crushes and it was a good start to the morning, a totally fun night in dreamland...being in a movie and not writing it...
Uh oh.
...
One of my spin class students and friends approached me last week with this offer. See, good people look out for me. She said that her friend was the casting director for a new iPhone commercial. She said I'd be perfect and made me promise to meet with the casting director, go on camera, do my thing...
I walked into the waiting room today and started to have this panic. Other people were waiting, there to do exactly what I was there to do. It was a casting, a fucking casting, the thing I've avoided like plague ever since I landed out here. I don't know what it is, something about me is incapable of doing it. I think it's this supremacy complex -- cattle calls go against everything I believe in...at least about myself. It's like I walk into a room and my eyes just move and it's such a competition and all my mind is saying -- I'm better than all of you -- and it's nasty and it's ugly and I don't like to think those thoughts, put myself in those situations. Hence, writer. But since I just finished a script, I've got room...
She stared rolling and I went off, just this rant, and I can rant like nobody's business and I can charm and all that good stuff that I'm sure people in the business of casting look for. And it was fine and it was fun and she closed the camera and said it was brilliant in this nice British accent and told me the video was going to the powers that be and I left...
And I started thinking...
I'm pretty enough and far too articulate not to be going out once a week, for something. I've been to 2 castings in my life, got one and was paid 10,300 for a day's worth of work. Why not, that's all I'm saying...
