I’m sick. The body hurts. My whore of a home state infected me. Sweet Illinois…or so I thought. She sent me back to Cali with illness. All is fair, I suppose.
I suppose. What can I say? Bitch was pissed. She can’t let go. I’ve been bedding my current sweetheart going on a year and a half. Somewhere along the way, I fell for her…and now I’ve fallen hard. What’s an inspired, love starved youth to do?
I have boats to say. But…I’ll save my ramble for a later date. Or, more appropriately…a later year.
I can’t believe I just said that shit.
I’d be up till 4. Fraid I don’t love you that much.
Okay, not true. This heart has plenty. And speaking of my heart…I think it’s enlarged. No, I’m not being metaphorically cute. I’m talking medical disorder. For some reason, it’s gotten so big, it oozes, pulses and pops its way through the gaps in my ribs. In turn, I get this stabbing, drop a fire cracker down my aorta and feel it explode…thing.
It’s awesome.
What’s wrong, you ask?
Likely nothing. I pander to drama. But, to be fair and kind, let’s role-play.
I’ll be me. You can be my last call conquest. I take my cue as the lights come up.
~~It’s not that I’ve had bad luck with love…it’s just that I love recklessly. I love deeply. At least I like to believe I do. (This sounds thick, but consider the stage…and performer). I guess you could say that I should’ve learned my lesson. Leave yourself open and you’re bound to get cut. (Take a “painful” slug from your J&D…give her sub-conscious 1.2 seconds to recall a movie or song she thinks she’s now living). Call me a fool, but it’s something I’ve come to expect. But as many times as my heart has been torn in this life, it heals. It grows bigger, stronger…it begs me to take the leap…again…to not be chained down by my past. In complete sincerity, I want to tell you something. I don’t know how much room I have left. That’s why lately, I’ve closed off. I made a promise to myself. A promise that I’ve had no problem upholding…until tonight…until I met you.~~
…
Oh, Hollywood…
I’m not a piece of shit. Sometimes, maybe…
In my life, I bide time…waiting to be overthrown. Otherwise, I’m a tease who adores the game. It’s just that…if you don’t know me, never trust me.
What? At least I’m honest…here. And that’s some that counts, right?
…
Anyway, I’ve 2 things for you. SNL again, but fucking wow. Dare you to watch it less than 10 times.
Make that the triple dog variety.
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=zLElfJ9YCh0
…
And I found about 20 old, burned CD’s. Digs from my old, polluted computer. How I missed them. Precious orphans. I’ll give a few.
Aaron Lewis – Outside (Live - ’99 Family Values Tour)
Dire Straits – Romeo and Juliet
Joe Cocker – The Letter (Live)
Primitive Radio Gods – Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money in My Hand
Aimee Mann – Save Me
Smashing Pumpkins – Tonight, Tonight
Our Lady Peace – Superman’s Dead (Live)
…
And since I am the Devil’s Advocate…allow me to lend a little New Year’s Eve advice…
Shoot warm Cuervo…find a hot tub. Have a drunken heart to heart with a stranger. Perhaps a second? Get naked. Welcome 2006 in the only reliably fitting manner…leaping off balconies singing cartwheels.
